Monday, May 22, 2006

Your daughter is so smart!

I get comments from many people pointing out that Molly seems very advanced for her age. I’ve heard it from the doctor, daycare staff, and friends and while I appreciate the comments and am one proud Mommy, I have to question it sometimes. After hearing how advanced Molly seems to be at the church daycare yesterday, I took her home for a nap. When she woke up we briefly went into my bathroom while I “touched up” my makeup. While I have my back turned for a brief second, Molly has managed to make it over to the cats’ water bowl and is lapping the water from it – cat style, with her tongue. Not sure that is a sign of a little genius. I told my mother about this and she did remind me that being advanced and smart does not necessarily mean that Molly has common sense! Or maybe she was a cat in a former life. Or maybe she is trying to convince the cats that she is “one of them” so that they will play with her. Who knows!

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Molly - is she really a cocker spaniel?

May 18, 2006: The non-stop drool makes me think that Molly is not really a well adjusted, happy baby. But is in fact, a cocker spaniel! Every time that Molly is about to get a new tooth, I am treated with even more drool than normal (normal amount is already more than enough)! The top of her shirt gets drench in drool. I actually have to enforce the “no Teddy Graham” rule during the intense drool periods because Teddy Graham drool is really disgusting. She did get 2 teeth within the last few weeks, so I looked in my “What to Expect: The Toddler Years” and was disappointed to find out that she is only half way to getting all her teeth! She has 10 – does she really need 10 more?? I guess I should count myself (and Molly) lucky, she doesn’t get a fever or get sick with each new tooth. It’s really just the drool for a few days, then a runny nose is added, and then, right before the tooth pops through, I get extreme cranky baby for 12 hours. The minute the tooth is through, the nose dries up, the crankiness stops, and the cocker spaniel retreats (ready to pounce next time!) I hoping that the tooth pops through tonight or tomorrow (I’m not looking forward to cranky baby this weekend – let daycare deal with it! That’s why they get the big bucks!)

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

May 2006

Watch out Mary Lou and Nadia, Molly is a gymnast! Molly and I started gymnastics. I actually think I had more of a workout than she did, since I had to chase her around AND lift her for the tricks! She loved doing somersaults and bouncing on the springboard. She did not care so much for sitting still and listening – she wanted to run and explore! She has now been to 2 lessons and can walk along the balance beam (well sort of!), she did a somersault all by herself, and tried hanging from the bars (her little hands can’t quite grip the bars completely yet!) The class is for children between the ages of one and three and Molly is definitely one of the youngest, but she tries to keep up. She wants to be first in line – we need to work on “waiting for your turn” – maybe she will grasp that concept by the time she is a teenager, but I have little hope that she will get it soon. So I spend a lot of time trying to entertain her while she waits for her turn. Occasionally the girls are asked to follow the instructor to the next area – Molly seems to understand this instruction. As soon as she sees the instructor start to leave, she chases after (probably to see what fun stuff she gets to do next). She is supposed to sit on the “white” line when we get to a new area of the gym and wait for instructions. She does this pretty well, although she keeps choosing to sit on the white line that is already occupied by another child! So she squeezes her little butt into the space she wants – pushing the 2 children already in that space to either side!
Next week I have to go to court for Molly’s readoption in the US. Although she is officially my daughter already and the Chinese paperwork is recognized by the US government and Molly is a US citizen (she became an American the moment we landed in Chicago), I decided to readopt in the US. The readoption will give her a US birth certificate which I really want her to have. I think it will be easier for her in the future. For one thing, she will be able to order copies of it and for another, people can read it! I’ll also apply for her passport immediately after the adoption. You never know when we might want to travel to a distant land! I actually already put away some of my proceeds from the sale of the FL house to an “Africa” fund for Molly and I. I want to take Molly on an African safari when she is about 13 years old. I went a couple of years ago to Kenya and loved it! I’m planning on taking Molly to Tanzania for a one week safari in the Serengeti and a one week climb of Mt. Kilimanjaro. Only 12 more years until that trip! She will be using her new US passport long before that though – next May we will go to England for my cousins wedding. I may take her to England this fall too if I can face 9 hours on the plane with her. So far I cannot bribe another family member to sit with her, while I upgrade to Business Class and relax! I’m working on it though!

Molly decided to give me a gift I didn’t want for Mother’s Day – she was difficult that day! It was a long and frustrating day for both of us. I tried to get professional photos of her done that day too, but she had other ideas. Molly rarely cries, but after 3 pictures, she burst into tears and didn’t recover. The first photo taken was for her passport, so at least I now have the photo for that. She did make up for it the next day by being my sweet baby girl again. She gave me a silver charm with her name and birthdate on it and 2 cards – one that she somehow mailed from Syracuse, NY and the other is one she made in daycare. But the best gift is always my Molly’s hugs and kisses! My friend, Libbie, also sent me a beautiful Mother’s Day necklace with the Chinese symbols for Mother and Daughter – I love it and wear it everyday! The cats allowed me to scratch their chins and snuggled with me too! I also got to read all about Lori and Marc’s and Sheri and Kyle’s Gotcha Day – what a wonderful day to get their daughters. The girls, Katie and Madison, are from a province just below Inner Mongolia, so I was wondering if everyone would be staying in a yurt. But have been told that the accommodations are good – no dung covered yurts! I did kind of want to see Lori in a yurt – I could always use a good laugh! Soon Madison will be in the US and Molly will be ready to play (she has already tested out Madison’s toys and determined that they are not only acceptable, but down right fun!) If anyone needs their toys tested before they receive their children, just call on Molly – she is becoming a pro at it and seems to enjoy it. Her own toys just get SO boring – day after day of endless toy playing with your own toys can be such a drag!

April 2006

I thought I was going to be bored, but haven’t had anytime to be bored. Molly and I are busy taking walks, playing, learning our way around, and making new friends. Molly has always been a social butterfly and enjoys “talking” to anyone and everyone. I decided to sign us both up for some classes since there is so much offered in Plano for kids. There is a ton of stuff, unfortunately most of it is during work hours. The cost of living is so low that it is easy to be a stay at home mom – well, except for me who is a single mom. So, most of the activities revolve around stay at home moms. I did find a swim class that starts in June, a gymnastic class that she starts in May, and Kindermusik that she will start in the fall. Molly is talking a lot more now and is really understanding a lot too. She still loves to eat – a lot and is tall and thin. She is in the 95% for height and 25% for weight – which I find amazing since she seems to eat so much. She loves cheese which I give to her while I am preparing dinner. She can say cheese and has now started to call all food cheese! She is obsessed with shoes, like me, and is therefore supporting the nurture side of the whole nurture vs nature debate! She can say shoes and socks. The second I take off my shoes she begins putting them back on me. I have to hide them, out of her sight, unless I want her to either: put them on me, put them on herself, or run around the house play with them! She still loves the cats, but neither will pay the least bit of attention to her, except to run away in disgust. Peajoe is slightly more patient than Scout. Peajoe will allow her to pet him if I hold her. Molly is very gently so I hope that one day the cats will come around. The cats are loving the new house. It has large windows that go almost to the floor – perfect cat level windows! No more little lizards to watch and chase, but they have discovered that there are tons of bunnies in the yard! Bunny watching and sleeping seems to fill their days nicely. Some new words include: “cook cook” – which means Cookie Monster and “Elmo.” She loves Sesame Street and The Wiggles – although she does have a fear of Snuffaluffacus. She wants to watch him on TV, but needs to be in the safety of my lap! She loves music and tolerates my singing to her. She can do the motions for “Itsy Bitsy Spider”, “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”, and “The Wheels on the Bus.” She will give anyone a kiss when they ask for one, except me. When I ask for a kiss, she takes her hands, gently puts them against my face, pushes my face away and emphatically says “NO.” It’s insulting, but I’m learning to accept it! She thinks that I am trying to torture her when I wipe her nose – apparently it is almost as bad as getting a shot at the doctor – what a fuss she makes!

February and March 2006

February
Molly and I fly to Dallas to house hunt. Fortunately my mother was kind enough to meet us here and help me! Molly did not enjoy househunting, but was a trooper! We found a house in Plano that I loved.

March
We began the big move! The closing on my house in Florida did not go well – anyone reading this please heed my warning: NEVER sell to a buyer who is using COUNTRYWIDE unless the buyer is putting 20% or more down. Countrywide messed this sale up so badly. They created numerous delays and all kinds of problems – how in the world are they the largest mortgage company in the US? My buyer was a piece of work too. Not exactly the brightest crayon in the box. But before I get too high on my soapbox, I’ll change the subject. Especially since the nightmares are beginning to subside and I don’t want to start them up again by reliving the closing! Saying goodbye to my friends in South Florida was very hard. I will miss seeing Mia, Katie, and Rachel come home and I so wanted to see them all at the airport. I hope to go and visit, but it won’t be the same. Now if I could just get everyone to move to Dallas, then Molly and I will really be happy! We have settled into the new house in Plano and have met many nice people. There are so many families in my immediate area who have already adopted or are in the process. People in Plano are so nice too. I’ve been busy trying to unpack but that is so difficult with Molly. She is not very helpful (even if she tries!) She is adorable though and she started at her new daycare the last week of March. She clings to me when I drop her off, but they tell me that she is doing well. When I come to pick her up, she runs to me with a big smile and huge hug. But then wants to go back to playing or eating! The commute to and from work is absolutely killing me, but the office is moving a little closer to my house, but the commute still won’t be great! I won’t say too much about the job since who knows who is reading this, but let’s just say I’m bored to tears most days.

January 2006

I started my new job – not much to say. Molly is doing very well in daycare and they love her there. She comes in and all the kids say “Mol” – kind of like how Norm would walk into Cheers (on the tv show of the same name) and everyone would say “Norm.” She is now off of formula and a bottle – a very easy switch! She is starting to say more – Kitty Cat was her first word – pronounced KiKiKa. She also says book, ball, and balloon. I love working from home and didn’t really think that I would. I feel like I get more done without the constant interruptions from people around me and I am so much more comfortable in sweatpants! Also, I am always cold at work (why is it that all offices waste money to keep the temperature just above freezing?) At my house, it’s toasty warm!!

December 2005

You thought my maternity leave couldn’t get worse?? Well, you’d be wrong! I knew my company was going through a merger and it was possible that I would lose my job. Well, lucky me did! At least that is what I was initially told. I was worried, but did have a 6 month package and was hopeful that I could find another job in that time. Unfortunately, I was not sure that I wanted to remain in south Florida. I was looking to move further north within Florida (perhaps Jacksonville or Orlando). So where did I end up? Texas! No, there is not a city of Texas in the state of Florida. I am now (today is May 3, 2006) living in Plano, TX (just north of Dallas). The day after I started back to work, I flew to Dallas to interview for a position with the newly merged company, which is headquartered in Dallas. To make a long story short, I accepted the job in Dallas. I had wanted to get out of South Florida before Molly started school. I also didn’t think that the job market was very good in the Fort Lauderdale area and there were other things turning me off about the area. I do miss my friends terribly, but think that the move is good for me and Molly. Now if I could just get my friends to move here!! Other news (I’ll get back to the move to Texas in later months), Molly started to take some steps around Thanksgiving, but took even more at Christmas. By her first birthday, she was getting steadier and steadier! She had quite a busy time at Christmas. We traveled to TN, where Molly met my brother, John, and his wife, Christina and my grandfather. Of course, my parents were there too! She didn’t quite understand how to open all the Christmas presents (which she had a ton of!), but did understand how to play with them! The day after Christmas she was baptized. Family was there to celebrate. Molly enjoyed yelling in the church – I think she liked the way her voice echoed. And she enjoyed playing with the baptism water – she loves to splash! She wore her white traditional Chinese dress for the baptism and looked beautiful. We then went back to my grandfather’s house and celebrated her Baptism and her first birthday. She loved her smash cake – most of which made it into her tummy, but there was still a lot on her face! Once we got back to Florida, we celebrated her birthday again with a few close friends with another smash cake – two cakes are better than one anyday! That night, Molly also celebrated her first Hannakuh and New Year’s Eve! She partied until almost midnight at Shannon’s house and ate all of Shannon’s applesauce with her fingers. She also tried to eat everything off of Shannon’s plate (sorry Shannon!)

November 2005

Much shorter entry for this month. Molly continued to thrive. I did not get to take her to the park or to Mommy and Me classes because all the parks were closed until December and a lot of the traffic lights still weren’t working so it was hard to get around. We did go to Syracuse for Thanksgiving and had fun – Molly liked turkey. My parents’ cats did not care for her. Molly did get to see a little snow – she was no more impressed than I am – it’s just cold stuff! She definitely looked like a cold, bundled, Chinese baby while we were in Syracuse. We also started to teach her to walk – she loved trying to get from one person to another. Sometimes she would take a step or two, but most of the time, she just launched herself across the room. Fortunately she does not seem to mind falling – which she did a lot of. The day care wanted her walking by the time she started in December, but I knew that she wouldn’t be walking, but would be close!

October 2005

I have now been home with Molly for almost 8 months and am seriously behind in updating my blog. This is my attempt to catch up! I’m going to try and update once a month from now on – my very late New Years resolution.

October 2005
This was a rough month in the Salvage household. Beginning with the recovery from jet lag. I can tell people until I am blue in the face and no one who hasn’t experienced jet lag after returning from China will never understand how bad it is. I’ve traveled a lot and twice to China – there is no worse jet lag! Even returning from Australia is not as bad (and that’s a longer flight with a bigger time difference). It was bad the first trip (without a baby) and worse the second. Molly however did not seem to be affected! She adjusted to the days being nights and the nights being days immediately. She enjoyed meeting her grandfather who thoroughly spoiled her! She met her two little boyfriends, Diego and Ben, within a couple days of being home. She was also showered with attention by our extended adoption family in South Florida! Molly loves the attention too! After slowly recovering (allow at least 2 weeks before you will feel close to normal again), I had a very nice Baby Shower thrown by Jackie and Amy. The only problem was that we had a hurricane coming, so unfortunately a few friends couldn’t make it and we did not have ideal weather! But Molly and I appreciated and enjoyed the festivities anyway! Unfortunately the day before the shower, I had received very disturbing news from Dr. Liang, Molly’s Pediatrician. Molly tested as slightly anemic (not surprisingly, a lot of the children from China are, but this is easily remedied with some vitamins) which didn’t concern me. But the next bit of news sent me to hysterics – Molly tested positive for HIV. Before I scare anyone, let me tell you now that she is not HIV positive – it was all a mistake. Unfortunately, I did not learn that it was an error for about 6 weeks. So let me go back to the day I got the news. Dr. Liang told me that Molly tested positive on the ELISA test, but negative on the Western Blot – OK, so what does that mean? Well, after much research, I learned that the ELISA is just a screening test and can have fairly high false positive results. The Western Blot is done only if the ELISA is positive and is much more conclusive. However, occasionally it will show negative during a “window” even if the person is actually infected. The window is somewhere around 3 months. Since I didn’t have Molly for the past 3 months, I couldn’t be sure that she wasn’t somehow exposed (her HIV test in China said she was negative, but could it have been wrong)? What I did find out is that the Western Blot rarely shows negative even during the window – it is more likely to show indeterminate during that window time. But again, it was possible. Dr. Liang had already discussed her results with a specialist who wanted me to bring Molly for DNA testing in about 10 days. There were a couple of possibilities 1. she was actually negative and the ELISA was just wrong 2. she was negative (but her mother was positive and therefore Molly had the antibodies which would disappear by the time she was 18 months). She would not be HIV positive, but would show that way on some tests – the DNA test would confirm whether or not she had the antibody. or 3. she was positive. After spending the whole weekend researching the information I found on the Internet, I felt fairly confident that she was negative and either the 1st or 2nd possibility had happened. According to my research, the chance of a false negative from the Western Blot was almost non-existent. Also, there had been a study done in the 90s on several girls adopted from China who had exactly the same results as Molly. None of them ended up being positive. I called my agency and asked if this had ever happened before. My wonderful social worker checked and found out that it had not. She also contacted a doctor who is an international adoption specialist who reviewed the results and he felt that she was not positive and he didn’t even think that the DNA test was necessary. I decided to go ahead with it rather than be unsure. Well just 3 days after this news, a hurricane hit us! So no power for 10 days (and I was desperate to get on the internet and do more research). I couldn’t talk with Molly’s doctor, the Specialist, or anyone who might be able to provide information. It was very difficult – on top of the fact that I had no power – no hot water, no refrigeration, no lights, no gas, little money – just a new baby, who might be sick! I can safely say, I must have had one of the worst maternity leaves in history! Fortunately, my mother was able to fly in about 5 days after the hurricane (the airport was opened just in time). She had come down for the visit with the specialist, but of course that was cancelled. She stayed for about a week and eventually we did get power back. Molly and I, and later my mother, did a lot of walking around the neighborhood, talking with the neighbors I didn’t know until the hurricane hit. Molly loved meeting everyone and loved the attention. Candy and David, the only people besides my immediate family who know of the test results, were wonderful and checked on us daily. Candy and David were one of the lucky ones who got power back relatively early. They were nice enough to put Molly, me, and the 2 cats up for a couple of days. It was wonderful to have the company, hot food, and hot showers! Because of the hurricane, I couldn’t get into see the specialist for 3 weeks. Then I found out that the results of the blood test would take an additional 2 weeks – way too long! Those were 5 very stressful weeks. Fortunately, the results were due back the day before Thanksgiving so I was hoping we would really have something to be thankful for that year! And we did!! Molly tested negative on the DNA – she did not even have the antibodies. This does not answer whether or not she had them and they were just gone by the DNA test or that she never had them and the ELISA was wrong. I will never know the answer to that question, but the main thing is that Molly is negative! Her DNA was tested again at 12 months – negative again. She will be tested again using the ELISA at 18 months and then she is done. This additional testing is probably a waste of time, but it was recommended and I don’t see any harm (even the yelling Molly does when they stick her with a needle!)